This is my 49th year as a son, my 18th year as dad, and my 4th year without my dad. While I don’t remember the day I was born, I remember the day I became a dad and the day I lost my dad. I remember standing in the delivery room as a baby boy entered the world, let out a cry, and changed my life forever. I also remember the day I held my dad’s hand, told him I loved him, and watched him take his last breath.
Fatherhood is not about overpriced greeting cards, a cookout, or a tie. Unfortunately, our consumer culture has seemed to transform the celebration of dads into another reason to spend money.
Fatherhood is a messy, challenging, fulfilling, and wonderful journey. It calls us to face our weaknesses and embrace our fears. It forces us to look inside ourselves and think deeply about who we are. I have learned that much of how my son thinks, speaks, and acts has been shaped by me. Looking back on my life, I know the same is true for my dad and me.
This means it all can get passed down, the good and the bad, the beautiful and the ugly. For every quick-witted joke, there can be words delivered without gentleness. Acts of compassion may be accompanied by flashes of impatience. Love for knowledge is tempered by addiction to technology.
I don’t pretend to think I’ve done it all right. I look back and see plenty of places where I dropped the ball as a dad. Things I should have said and done and things I shouldn’t have. Behaviors and attitudes I wish I hadn’t passed on, and others that make me proud.
We are all products of our parents and, for those of us who are parents, our children are products of us. This captures the beauty and fear found in fatherhood; you have a profound impact on who your child becomes.
As I look back over my journey as a son and father, I see joy and sorrow, goodness and brokenness. I see places where struggles and strengths have been handed down.
This requires us to turn to grace. Grace for our dads where they fell short. Dads, grace for ourselves where we’ve screwed up. And grace for our children as they sort out this adventure called life.
I must remind myself constantly that many of the things my son does that drive me crazy, he might well have learned from me. I’m sure that this same correlation is true between my dad and me. When we can embrace the fact that we are all broken, we can find a little more patience, show a little more kindness, and exhibit the kind of love we wish we could show every day.
Breaking Into Peace 