Month: December 2020

As we hit the exit ramp from the year that was 2020, we have experienced so much. While the phrase has been overused, these have been unprecedented times.

Having experienced a number of difficult seasons in my life, let me share a few thoughts and observations as we look back on 2020. Some may seem like common sense and others you may strongly disagree with. (If you really dislike any “God” talk, you can skip the next few paragraphs. However, I invite you to at least consider reading even that portion of this post.)

God is not in control. Even if you don’t believe in God or any type of divine being, hear me out on this one. I am not for a minute minimizing or discounting the divine’s power. Instead, I am acknowledging the reality that regardless of what god, divine being, or force you may or may not look for, that entity does not control the world.

If God were truly in control, explain why in just our country, hundreds of thousands of people died from a pandemic, millions of people lost their jobs, and we have experienced untold suffering. Would a loving God who is in control allow that to happen?

Some may find these words troubling. Others may do theological backflips to reconcile free will with divine sovereignty. I see them as a comfort and a challenge.

I am relieved to believe the divine is not responsible for the hurt, pain, and loss we have all experienced. Grace, mercy, love, and even justice don’t align with the hell we have endured this year.

At the same time, the divine is intimately present in all of the pain. Whether someone believes in any form of God or not, the divine presence has dwelt in their moments of torment and suffering. Isn’t that really the main lesson of the cross? In our sometimes myopic focus on the Penal Substitutionary Theory, I believe we miss out on other meaningful aspects of the crucifixion.

The divine stands shoulder-deep in our crap.

I don’t believe the central purpose of the cross is to keep me from going to hell (I’m not planning to address the existence of hell here); it does remind me the divine stands with me in the midst of hell in this life. That does not mean I don’t believe in an afterlife, but when we focus our theology on escaping this planet, our blind spots can be enormous.

This simply scratches the surface on this topic, but it is time to move on.

We are better working together than we are working against each other. There was plenty of both on display this year.

Across the world, people served and sacrificed for others. Neighbors provided food and assistance. Families pulled together to help one another. Medical professionals, first responders, and others worked countless hours to provide care. People gave so freely of themselves to aid their fellow human beings in a time of tremendous suffering.

At the same time, the vitriol and venom spewed across our nation was disturbing and disgusting. Racism, homophobia, name-calling, bullying, violence, and division plagued our country. People screamed at each other, threatened each other, and refused to listen to each other. This vicious behavior was not confined to one political party, class, race, or group; it spread like wildfire through social media, riots, and personal encounters.

We witnessed our nation rise up to its greatest potential and collapse into the worst version of itself at the same time, sometimes in the same people. This is the human story, exacerbated by challenges and conflicts that while not completely unprecedented were certainly magnified.

As we move forward into a new year, we face many of the same challenges, but as we reflect on what has been, let us look to the future considering how we can leave behind the hatred and division and move closer to more fully embodying the cooperation and compassion displayed by so many.

We are all hurting. One thing this pandemic has revealed is how rampant pain is across the world. Americans have become especially adept at hiding their pain. Wealth provides ample tools for denial and distraction. We binge our way through loneliness. We medicate ourselves through hurt. We entertain ourselves through lack of meaning. We collect things to fill the voids.

This year many of us have faced things we could no longer hide. Financial struggles limited or even eliminated a significant number of numbing techniques. Racial discord exposed economic and social disparities and privilege. Disagreements about something as simple as masks revealed divergent views about science, government, and institutional integrity. We are a divided people.

Beneath the division and animosity lies a deeper reality. We are projecting our pain on our neighbors. As a nation we stand somewhere between the precontemplation and contemplation stages of change. If you’re not familiar with stages of change theory, basically that means we are between not realizing there is a problem and realizing it but unwilling to make change.

I am not talking about changing someone else, but changing ourselves. Changing someone else is a primary metanarrative in our country. Just watch a few minutes of cable news and you can see that. We have seemingly little collective self-reflection and self-awareness.

The change must start within. If we do one thing differently this year, let it be a greater focus on looking within. This is not to say we should engage in navel-gazing or tunnel vision. Rather, we must contemplate and consider how each of us contributes to our collective pain. What thoughts and behaviors drive us to look down on those we disagree with? What unseen or most ignored pain in our own lives are we projecting onto others?

Do you want to change the world? Don’t start by pointing fingers outward, but by looking inward. Those inward changes can be the spark which opens us to deeper realities about ourselves and the world. Gandhi said, “If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him…We need not wait to see what others do.” We have a symbiotic relationship with the world, but our efforts must be directed towards what we can change, ourselves.

This is difficult work. Nearly six years ago I began a journey similar to the one I describe above. Every time my ego begins to tell me I have arrived, life sends another reminder these is more work to do. I press on, seeking to learn more. In the process I come to see how little I know.

As I look back on 2020, I hope we can walk away with a little more humility, wisdom, and love. That can be more powerful than any vaccine in fighting the viruses which infect our collective and individual souls.

For many of us, this Christmas is like no other. Whether we are quarantined, holding smaller gatherings, or facing the death of loved ones, the pandemic has changed our holiday season.

Most of us are mourning the loss of something; we have been much of this year. But around the holidays, those feelings can become even more intense.

At the same time, we also have things to celebrate. It might be smiling as kids open their gifts. Or enjoying a cup of coffee watching the snowfall outside our window. Maybe it’s enjoying the smell of something delicious cooking in the kitchen.

This year in particular reminds of us the tension that exists in our lives every day: death and life, sorrow and joy, loss and gain.

I have no idea where you find yourself as you read these words. You could be experiencing a Hallmark movie Christmas morning surrounded by family or you might be sitting alone.

Our world seems so unfair sometimes, with some enjoying so much and others lacking basic necessities. There are no simple solutions to the disparity and adversity we see in our world, but Jesus compels us to work towards alleviating it. Consider these words of Jesus from Matthew 25:37-40…

“Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’”

Are you looking for Christ on this Christmas morning? He is the neighbor who is hungry, the stranger you pass at the store, the sick person in the ICU, and the prisoner sitting in prison. He is the one we often look down on or work to avoid. Jesus reminds us not to further dehumanize these people, but to help them feel more human.

Jesus’ life showed us what it means to be more human. He loved the unlovable, embraced the untouchable, and welcomed the rejected. He dedicated his life to giving of himself so that others might live more fully.

Christmas at its core isn’t about what we get, but what we give. I’m not talking about presents under a tree, but presence in the lives of others. While COVID has made this more challenging, i hope its limitations and challenges remind us of what really matters long after this pandemic ends.

There is much mourning in the world, but Christmas reminds us every day offers a new morning to the world, a chance to shine light into darkness.

There will always be the tension between darkness and light, mourning and morning. Let us be about the work of embracing both and embodying the spirit of Christmas found in the life of the one whose birth we celebrate this day.

Today would have been my mom’s 80th birthday; twenty-two years ago was the last birthday I celebrated with her. We were in Florida visiting my dad’s sister and her family, the details of the day a vague memory.

Since that December day in 1998, much had changed.

Less than four months later my dad would make that phone call that would forever change my life. Two years later, my son would be born, the grandchild she would never hold. Nearly sixteen years later, I would hold my dad’s hand as he took his last breath. A few years after that, my marriage would end.

I wonder how different my life would have been these last twenty-two years had she still been alive…

While she has been gone for over two decades, there are ways she is still present, her influence imprinted on me. For better and worse, my mom has continued to shape who I am, even in her absence.

Usually on a birthday, we offer gifts to the one whose special day it is. Today, I consider the gifts she gave me. We can argue whether they’re due to nature or nurture; it’s probably a blend of the two.

Stubbornness. Oh, was that woman stubborn. While she wasn’t like this about everything, when her mind was made up about something, just stand back. This attribute has been both a blessing and a curse for me.

Generosity. My mom would do anything for anyone. I think of the many times she would give both time and gifts to others. While I’m not nearly as generous as she was, I’m thankful she taught me the importance of giving to others.

Depression. She struggled with depression throughout her life. It was the albatross around her neck. As I have grown older, learned more, and reflected on her life, I see the ways it haunted her. Exploring this has helped me better understand my own struggles with depression.

Intellect. I don’t know how “smart” my mom was, but she really enjoyed learning and figuring things out. I would watch her sit in our living room and examine spreadsheets for work, trying to solve a problem. She helped shape my love for learning and exploration.

As I think back on my mom’s life, these are but a few of the things she gave me, gifts which I continue to open. We are all complex people, a blend of light and dark, wholeness and brokenness, life and death. Learning to appreciate both parts of my parents’ lives has helped me learn to accept both parts of mine.

I wish my mom was still here. I would love to have even a hour to sit with her, to ask questions that will remained unanswered. What I have learned about myself these last several years has raised many new subjects for conversation. There are times I have stood at her gravesite, speaking into eternity.

The answers may never come, but the journey continues.

It’s been building for years and it’s hard to decide when and where it starting gaining steam. Was it Nixon’s Southern Strategy in 1968? The Willie Horton commercial in the 1988 election? The emergence of Rush Limbaugh? The Monica Lewinsky affair and subsequent impeachment hearing? The 2000 election? The birther controversy around Barack Obama? I could go on and on. I’m sure it’s some of all of these.

Plus, as technology has allowed us to communicate more quickly to a broader audience, the ways news is delivered has changed. From 30 minutes each evening to 24/7 on TV. From a few minutes at the top of the hour to multiple hours of political talk radio programs. Personal communication has evolved from coffee shops to chat rooms to social media news feeds. These last several decades have seen a dizzying acceleration in the way information moves.

While a blessing in some ways, there have also been toxic consequences for our political debate.
This poison has infiltrated nearly every form of public discourse. Sure, the founders of our nation were not the most pleasant people sometimes. As many people may have learned thanks to the musical Hamilton, they even occasionally settled disputes with duals. They called each other names and could be rather uncivil.

In the past, our nation went to war against itself, costing hundreds of thousands of Americans their lives. Brother often turned against brother and the echoes of that conflict are likely one of the unground rivers feeding this current rise in internal conflict we face.

There is a cancer running through the veins of this nation. Hate and division are boiling to the surface. Democrats argue that Republicans are heartless. Republicans argue that Democrats are socialists. We have become the outrageous, over-simplified labels affixed to our beliefs. We consider those we disagree with to be caricatures of some evil enemy.

We did not just get here on our own however. Politicians exploit these differences to hold or obtain power. News outlets harness it to sell news. Demagogues on both sides stoke the fires of hatred for their own benefit.

While it is far from perfect, our system of governance is pretty good. Sure, there are adjustments we should consider as time marches forward and the realities of the world change. But the system is not the fundamental problem.
Our problem quite frankly is us.

We have bought into the idea that what divides us supersedes what unites us. We have absorbed the relentless stream of noxious dialogue which says if you disagree with me, you are an existential threat to this country and my way of life.

Save for a handful of extremists on both ends of the spectrum, our goals are closer together than they are apart. Why does one side support lower taxes and the other higher taxes? They both believe it’s the best way to help society succeed. They differ on how to get there.

Why does one side support more government involvement in health care and the other believes in a stronger, market-based health care system? They both believe that is the best way to provide quality health care.

Why does one side favor choice for women and the other side prefer to ban abortions? They both believe they are defending the rights of certain populations.
There have been countless articles, debates, books, and conversations about these topics, and they just scratch the surface. The rigorous debate is part of what makes this nation great. In a time when kings and dictators ruled much of the world several centuries ago, our founders created this system of government to “create a more perfect Union.”

Were their ideas revolutionary? Yes. Were they imperfect in the way they carried them out? Yes.
We are no different today. There are probably things many of us believe now that future generations will wonder what we were thinking. Slavery was written into our Constitution, but I don’t think any of us would include it today if we rewrote it.

Just like those who founded our nation over two centuries ago, we are all on a journey. We have differing opinions on which way to go. This is nothing new. Read The Federalist Papers and other writings of the founders. Read the debates leading up to the Civil War. Read and listen to speeches during the Civil Rights Movement in the 1950s and 1960s.

Advocate for what you believe in. Join in the public discourse. But as you do so, look at those with whom you disagree first and foremost as fellow Americans.

Will we have fundamental disagreements about some policies? Absolutely. Will those conversations be heated at times? I imagine so. But if our discussions dehumanize others and degenerate into name-calling and seeing who can outshout who, we lose our ability to live into the principles upon which this nation was founded.

Our behavior today often does not move us towards a more perfect Union. Much of it points towards disunion, a loss of one of the key factors that makes our nation great.

I offer the words of the Preamble to the Constitution: “We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.”

We can argue all day about what each of these words mean and how to accomplish them, but I believe most people in this country truly want these goals to be achieved. Let’s stop tearing each other apart and focus on what brings us together first. Then we can and should address the differences we have about how to get there.

THAT is how we work towards creating the more perfect Union our founders envisioned.

For the last month I have followed the news, read countless articles from sources ranging from FoxNews to MSNBC. I have watched videos, perused legal decisions, listened to and read pundits across the political spectrum, and engaged in as much research and learning as possible.

Full disclosure, I have voted in every PresidentIal election and the vast majority of those votes were cast for Republican candidates. I volunteered for at least one Republican Presidential campaign. While I am no longer affiliated with any political party, I am not a “lib,” a “socialist,” a “commie,” a “Trump hater,” or whatever other label someone might want to throw my way. I am sure there is some information I have not seen. My goal is to continue to grow and my views sometimes shift as I continue learn. I strive to be independent and free-thinking, and I don’t want everyone to agree with me. We all have something of value to offer to the discussion. Having said all that, here are my thoughts as I reflect on what has transpired over the last month or so…

From all I have seen, I do not believe the election was rigged or stolen. I do believe the President had every right to pursue reasonable legal action in the days following the election. If there was widespread fraud or illegal activity, I would hope we would all want to know and have those violating the law brought to justice.

But I also was following things long before the election and saw President Trump and his campaign laying the groundwork for this approach. He talked about the election being rigged long before November 3. He also talked about legal action and not accepting the results. Regardless of any videos or affidavits which we have seen over the last few weeks, this was going to happen if President Trump lost the election.

Speaking of videos and affidavits, dozens of courts (many presided over by conservatives and Trump appointees) have dismissed almost every case brought before them. Even the United States Supreme Court (one-third of which President Trump appointed) refused to hear a case brought before them. Samuel Alito, one of the conservative judges on the Court, was the one who reviewed and denied the case.

Virtually every video and piece of evidence I have seen has been explained or discredited. Simply sharing something over and over with commentary doesn’t make that perspective the truth. After a month, almost none of the evidence has survived the scrutiny of the legal system. And in many of the cases presented, the lawyers (once in front of a judge instead of a TV camera) refused to bring widespread fraud up as a grounds for their complaints.
I am both surprised and embarrassed by how many prominent Republicans have continued to support this effort. At the beginning, I understood. You support your party and your candidate. But so many lawmakers are attorneys. How can they look at what is happening in courtrooms across the nation and not acquiesce? From where I sit, it’s either fear of being bullied or fear of losing the next election. In short, it’s a concern about losing power.

What is most troubling to me is what has happened as court cases have failed. The President invited lawmakers of states where there is an attempt to change the results to Washington. He has called others. He has bullied those who won’t support his narrative (even members of his own political party who have been allies for most of his term and even campaigned for him). If they don’t buy into his agenda to change the result, they are traitors, crooked, or whatever pejorative term he can come up with. He hijacked a Georgia Senate campaign speech to promote his ongoing effort to change the results.

I have also watched him clean out numerous important governmental agencies and supporting organizations and fill them with his supporters at the eleventh hour. He has been floating the idea of holding a campaign rally during Joe Biden’s inauguration.

While I am obviously focused on the behavior of President Trump and his team, don’t for a minute think everyone else is innocent. There is corruption across the spectrum. But I don’t believe there is some nationwide group scheming to change thousands or millions of votes. That would require hundreds if not thousands of people to violate federal laws. I just can’t see that kind of effort going undetected. And I can’t imagine every reputable news organization would ignore that kind of story. It would sell papers, advertisements, etc. for months. To assert that every major news organization, every Democratic elected official, many Republican elected officials, and thousands of volunteers collaborated to pull this off is unreasonable.

What I believe President Trump has done is tap into fear. Fear of those we disagree with. Fear of those whose agendas differ from ours. Fear of those who advocate for policies which don’t favor us. Fear of those whose beliefs bump up against ours. He certainly did not start this, but he poured a ton of gasoline on the fire.

The other side isn’t off the hook. This has been an ongoing conflict fueled by both sides. Democrats and Republicans have both used demonization, dehumanization, and demagoguery to divide us. We have taken the bait. I see it in Facebook posts where people who used to be friends call each other idiots. I have seen it in memes and articles we share without fact-checking because they support our view. I have seen it when people engage in name calling instead of meaningful dialogue.

I have one thing to say. STOP!

Most people have good motives. They are not trying to take away your guns or control your bodies. They are not anti-God or anti-science. They are not trying to destroy businesses or destroy the environment. Many times the motives we project on other people are the effects of their policies, not their motives.
Let’s keep debating the issues. That is how we get something done. Let’s listen to each other. No one has the corner on good ideas. Let’s compromise when needed and do the best we can. We have turned politics into a winner-take-all fight to the death. What has happened to us?

I cannot diagnose Donald Trump. I don’t have the licensure to diagnose anyone and I have never even met the man. But I can witness his behavior and make some observations. It seems as though the only person Donald Trump cares about is Donald Trump. He fires people at will who disagree with him. He belittles those he doesn’t like. He objectifies women. He talks over people when he doesn’t like what they are saying. He walks out of a room when he seems bored or doesn’t like what he’s asked. He bullies people on Twitter. He wants everything to be about him at the expense of an entire nation and the democracy on which it is built.

We are still far from the “perfect Union” our founders wrote of in the Constitution, but we have made progress. We got rid of slavery. We expanded voting beyond just white, male landowners. Blacks are no longer counted as 3/5ths of a person. We have expanded the rights of all people. We have built a strong economy. We have been a leader on the world stage for over a century.

But we have much work to do. Oppression and discrimination still exist. Poverty cripples us economically. There is a huge wealth gap. Health issues plague us. I could go on and on.

We disagree about how to address these issues. That is the mission of political debate. We all come together and share our different opinions on how to solve these issues. We will disagree about what and how much government should be involved. We will disagree about the role of taxes. We will disagree about the impact of policies on various populations.

We will never agree about these things. That’s what happens when you put millions of people together. But we don’t have to treat each other like enemies. Are we opponents? Yes. But we are not enemies. We are fellow Americans. And more importantly, we are all human beings. Let’s have the meaningful debates, but let’s do it with respect and without running immediately to judge someone’s motives or labeling them with some derogatory term. That is the cheap, easy way out of difficult conversations.

That cheap way is the path Donald Trump has chosen and utilized throughout his Presidency. We are better than that. All of us are. It’s time to move past the polarization and come back to the table, sitting together, working together to tackle the issues that we face as a nation.

I don’t know whether Joe Biden will be able to shift us back that direction. He says that is what he wants to do. But the reality is that it isn’t up to Joe Biden. It’s up to every single one of us. One man or woman will struggle to change the course of a nation if tens of millions of others are moving in another direction. Whether you support Donald Trump, Joe Biden, or some other candidate, I urge you to look in mirror and decide what kind of country YOU want this to be. Then act accordingly.