Seasons

Today, our area experienced the first significant snowfall of the year. I witnessed big, fluffy flakes falling to the ground while enjoying a delicious Sunday brunch.

As to be expected, social media offered a cornucopia of opinions on the matter, from angry emojis to cries of joy. In Ohio, like many parts of the world, changes in season elicit an array of emotions and reactions.

Changes in seasons of life are even more effective in surfacing strong emotions.

Children become teenagers. Then they leave home for college or their first “real job.”

Marriages begin. Marriages end.

Births bring about new life. Deaths remind us of life’s fragility.

We leave jobs, by our choice or someone else’s. New jobs or even careers begin.

We could produce pages of examples. This short list likely reminds you of changes previously faced or waiting just over the horizon.

These last several years have brought me a disproportionate amount of changes, seasons of disruption, challenge, loss, and, yes, opportunity. The journey has been overloaded with emotions ranging from depression to anger, frustration to joy, and everything in between.

How do we handle changing seasons in life, especially when unforeseen, inevitable, or life-changing?

Sitting here today, I don’t have all of the answers; not even close. However, life has taught me a few lessons.

Changes in seasons are seldom linear. Just as it can snow one fall day and temperatures can rise into the 60’s the next, life’s changes often take many twists and turns. This erratic road often exacerbates already present stress and anxiety. Simply understanding and embracing the commonality is important. It won’t solve everything, but does lend a little normalcy to moments which feel anything but normal.

Different people react dissimilarly to the same changes. What might seem exciting to one could be terrifying to another, often due to varying roles or perspectives. Be patent with one another. Even if you have experienced something similar in the past, your experience may not reflect someone else’s experience. Maintain a posture of humility and openness towards others in the midst of changes.

Find others you trust. This can be hard when you have been betrayed, abandoned, or otherwise mistreated by those you trusted or depended on. It may require patience, discernment, and extreme caution, but seek others you might be able to trust and develop relationships with at a pace which balances comfort and necessity. Sometimes people just suck, but not all of them do.

Find practices which help ground you. Meditation and journaling have been two of my most helpful companions along the way. I struggled to engage in meditation for some time; it wasn’t until my therapist recently encouraged demanded I see my primary care physician about ADHD that I was able to consistently engage in meditation. Both the medication and meditation have proven significantly meaningful and helpful.

Don’t give up. I have wanted to throw in the towel more times than I care to count. Again, remember the journey isn’t a straight line. But extend yourself grace; calling a timeout is not giving up. There are moments we need to rest and assess before taking that next step. This leads to my final thought here.

Breathe. If meditation has taught me anything these last few months, it is the importance of breathing. Pause. Reflect. Slow your heart. Calm your mind. This will not always be easy. Let me say that again. This. Will. NOT. Always. Be. Easy. If you’re anything like me, there are moments the world is spinning and moving at speeds which feel out of control. You may not be able to stop the motion, but seek to slow it down, even just a little.

Like a strong, cold wind on a November day, life sometimes knocks the breath out of us and cause us to freeze. The reflections above are certainly not all-encompassing, but hopefully they might offer some small relief when changes in life’s seasons come your way.