I hate having to block people on social media. It takes a lot to push me to that point, but it happened again this week.
I am always up for engaging and challenging conversations, even on social media. Some of my posts are intended to create space for dialogue and debate. Quality discussions about topics and hearing various perspectives and opinions provides opportunities to listen, learn, and grow.
But sometimes people go too far and comments have been deleted for being too vitriolic, attacking someone, or otherwise taking a discussion in an unproductive direction. Occasionally an entire post gets deleted because things have gone off the rails.
People I have agreed with and disagreed with have engaged in this behavior. There comments are quietly deleted with the hope they don’t repeat the behavior. Most people have topics they are passionate about and might get carried away defending them from time to time. Everyone needs a little grace.
What I struggle to understand is why someone would personally attack another human being multiple times, especially in such an impersonal setting.
Even more disappointing and saddening is when people who claim to be followers of Jesus are the ones behind the keyboard.
A strain of hatred has existed in the Christian community for as long as I can remember. The targets have changed over time, but the venom has not. Where did this come from?
I have yet to encounter a situation where Jesus treats anyone as viciously as some people claiming to follow him have treated others. The closest Jesus comes to “attacking” someone is when he gets pissed off at religious leaders who think they are better than others.
Maybe part of the issue is when Christians read Jesus through the lens of Paul rather than the other way around. Instead of interpreting Paul’s words through Jesus’ worldview, Paul’s words are used to interpret Jesus. We might forget or fail to realize Paul was translating a Jewish rabbi for a Greek audience. There have been volumes written about this and won’t try to re-litigate it here.
My point is Jesus always started with love as his motive, not hatred. He grew up in a religious culture where religious leaders often attacked, demeaned, or marginalized . He chose a different way, one aligning with what YHWH intended all along.
Let’s be honest, the other way is easier. When we attack, it’s easier to avoid facing our own shortcomings, allowing us to focus on ways we are better rather than facing at our flaws.
As Jesus said in the Sermon on the Mount, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” (Matthew 7:3-5)
Looking at other people’s sawdust more than my own plank used to be a more frequent practice for me, making me more arrogant and less self-aware while creating a distance and divide between me and the other. Life has been a sometimes brutal teacher, showing the unhealthiness and ineffectiveness of this approach.
There is still a lot of room to grow. Too many days my judgmental attitude bubbles to the surface and I start focusing on other people’s sawdust. While I don’t always verbalize it, it still impacts how I see others. That is just as “sinful” as the things I find myself criticizing.
Screaming at another person–whether in your head, out loud, or through a keyboard–doesn’t build bridges, it builds walls. While it is important to discuss differences of opinion about thoughts, actions, and behaviors, the attitude and approach we use are critical, maybe even more than our beliefs. How we engage says more about our character than what we might be arguing for. And the how might be so loud that it drowns out the what. It can be counterproductive to our cause. To quote that famous theologian, Taylor Swift,
You just need to take several seats and then try to restore the peace
And control your urges to scream about all the people you hate
‘Cause shade never made anybody less gay
Throwing shade doesn’t make things better. It turns up the temperature, turns people off, and significantly decreases the chance for any honest, constructive dialogue.
You are welcome to disagree with me, or anyone else for that matter, but if you’re thinking about throwing shade, ask yourself this important question: If I throw shade, will it really help shed light on the subject?
Breaking Into Peace 